My Life Isn't What It Seems
by xXxUchiha DaisyxXx
Summary: Deidara's parents died when he was a young age, so he's had to support him, his lil brother, and now his lil sister alone. He's getting help from people he never thought existed. I suck at summaries. Ita/Saso/Dei, yaoi, vampires, werewolves, the like.


**Title-**** My Life Isn't What It Seems...  
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**Rating-**** M, just be to sure.**

**Summary-**** Deidara's parents died when he was a young age, so he's had to support him, his lil brother, and now his lil sister alone. He's getting help from people he never thought existed. I suck at summaries. Ita/Saso/Dei, yaoi, vampires, werewolves, the like.  
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**Author-**** xXxUchihaLoverxXx**

**Notes- ****I know that I should be working on I Just Can't Live Without You, BUUUUUUUT I wanted to make this chapter first, because I finally have internet. *evil grin* so gomenasai, but sue me 'cause I'm still writing the new chap of I.J.C.L.W.Y. **

**DISCLAIMER!!!-**** I, unfortunately, do not own any of the great works of ****Masashi Kishimoto's**** stuff. *cry***

**Warnings-**** I have no clue what I'm going to put in here, so just to be on the safe side: cussing, yaoi, yuri, cussing, lemon, lime, cussing, incest, angst, character death, cussing, alcohol, drugs, DUIs, cussing, STDs, and everything else that is rated M or more.... oh, and did I mention cussing? and vampire thingys!! Losh and losh of vampires and werewolves.  
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**Pairings-**** Ita/Saso/Dei *evil grin***

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**Chapter 1**

**Ino**

_'I wonder what new things will happen this year,'_ were my thoughts when I first moved to my new school/apartment with Naruto. I didn't know what awaited me, nor what I was to experience.

Yet, in the first couple of hours within me saying that, I thought I did. I thought that this would be like my last school; people would probably make fun of "the new kid", and crap like that.

I thought that people would make me feel bad.

They did, but I guess the certain person, er...people, that changed my life forever, isn't really what the definition of "people" or "person" was. Not that I didn't think those "things", for lack of a better word, were people. I did think they were.

Or rather, the guys were; Itachi Uchiha and Danna. How could I not?

One, Itachi-or rather Weasel, Uchiha, or my usual 'Tachi or Ita- was still technically was breathing, he could reproduce (I found that out personally...don't ask.... it shall all be explained.), and he could react to his surroundings. His body temperature wasn't 98.8 degrees Fahrenheit, like the rest of us. It was more like 52.8 degrees Fahrenheit. But, it didn't bother me one bit, because I had a naturally hot body temperature; I was 101 degrees Fahrenheit.

The other one, Sasori-whom I called Danna, or Sasori-danna-, was always 107 degrees Fahrenheit. But, like I said, it didn't bother me. He was as "human" or as a "person" as Ita was. He could breathe, talk, react to his surroundings, and, most of all, reproduce (Also found that out personally... Just wait, my dear one, it shall all be explained..)He was always very fond of the canine species and felt a strong connection with them, and his puppets. He was an artist, like me.

Of course, they were both assassins; _killers_. But not just that, they both were a little fucked up in the head.

More then me, and that's actually quite an accomplishment from the things that I have on my record now, and the things they haven't gotten me for.

But, I only knew that these two people were special, and that they liked me and they wanted me to be with them in their group.

Our group mainly consisted of vampires, werewolves, Yankees, gangsters, and me.

I loved each and every one of them. In different ways, mind you.

But I didn't know this right away. However, it was relatively soon after I started going to 8th grade that I found out all this information, in what seemed-at the time- the best way possible.

That, I suppose, is how I should begin my story.

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It was the beginning of around March or so when I moved here, to Suna

I had moved from a place called Tokyo, Japan because my parents just died. I missed them a lot. They died from a car accident when my dad was taking my mom to the airport. I didn't tell them to come home safely that day before I went to school. I always did, but, I stayed up too late the night before and I was a little late to school, and I forgot in my rush. I came home and they weren't home.

But, that was then. It's no use crying and being sad over people who weren't really in my life to begin with. And they weren't even my real parents; they were my fifth foster home. My real mom killed herself for reasons unknown-I watched her kill herself when I was 6-, and my real dad taught me a bunch of drug and alcohol stuff, before dying of a gang rape when I was 7.

Well, I was 12 at the end of all this, so it was no use going to an orphanage, and I would **NEVER **let them take my little brother, Naruto. He was only 9.

I could never do that to him; I love my brother too much. (And, nooooo, I didn't have a brother complex. Though I am bi... well... I like guys a lot more then girls.. but that's beside the point...)

I made a fake call and told the "higher ups" that I was an aunt that was willing to take care of us.

If I didn't make that call, none of this would've happened, and my Otouto would've been taken away. I couldn't bare losing another person.

Well, after that, I still had some money that my now-deceased foster parents, whom we really liked actually, left us.

It was only about 5 grand, but it was enough to rent an apartment and keep up the rent for about 10 months or so. Plus, we still needed food groceries and the like. We could easily move our stuff from our last home into this one.

And, here we are; my little brother, sister, and I. Oh, I didn't tell you about my sister...

Well, a few years after we moved here, I got a call from a girl. She said that she's been looking for Naruto and I since she was 5, when she learned that we were family.

We met up, all three of us, at a cafe near where I worked, as a waiter. Well, that's where I should probably start; when I'm 13, Naruto's 10, and this is where most of the.. well, where everything happens.

"So, you are telling me that you are my little sister, un?" I asked. It made sense. My real mom was a big whore/slut. That's how she paid for everything back then, before she died, that is.

The girl nodded.

She had the same blond hair as Naruto and I did. She somewhat had even the same hair style as I did: part put up into a pony tail, bangs over my eye, and the rest down.

"Yeah.... I found out when I was 5 years old, and I've been trying to find you guys since then. But..." Her eyes weld up in tears.

Naruto rushed over to the girl and hugged her. She didn't look that old... Probably around 11 or 12, around Naruto's age.

"I...Someone found me... He said that...that he was my dad...and that..that...he would take care of us...fo-forever... and-and-and-and... and I believed him.. so I came with him.. and he..he touched me in..." She cried harder.

I stood up from my chair and held her in my arms.

"Let's continue this at our house, un. Your new home, un." I said, getting out my wallet and putting some money and a tip for our drinks.

I grabbed my Mocha Chip Frap. Naru's Mint Hot Chocolate, and my new sister's Mocha Mint and Chip Frap.

She looked surprised, but smiled happily and kissed both Naruto and me on the cheek. Naruto giggled and I smiled and pat her head.

I stood up and motioned them both to walk with me.

I picked my sister up on my back, and I gave her a piggy-back ride to my apartment.

She giggled all the way there with Naruto. They talked about random kid stuff.

I was lost in my thoughts.

_'What happened to her? She is certainly our sister, no doubt about it. We look too similar... Definitely an Iwa. Although, why didn't anyone tell me that I had a sister? Surely they knew. But, we might not have the same father... She looks a bit raggedy too.. And what's with the bruises and cut everywhere on her body? Was she hurt? What did that __**bastard**__ that she was with before do to her?! What if he... What if he raped her?! Oh god... I have to ask her once we are inside... I have to get her checked up by a doctor...She might even be pregnant, and not know it...__**Sigh**__...Calm down, Dei.. It's fine... At least she's here and not somewhere else, doing god-knows-what... I do remember having another kid living with us when I was younger... I guess I didn't really pay attention that well to my memories... But, she's going to be fine with us. Come on, Dei... Think on the bright side! You finally have a little sister to dress up in cute little outfits!! She seems to like Naruto... Good. They're going to get along really well.. And let's see.. I'll need to adopt her when I become of age... Naruto too.. __**sigh.. **__Well, until then, I shall make my kids have the best life ever. I'm taking care of them now... No one else will ever take them away from me. They're my kids now. My kids, my loved ones, my siblings, my family. We have to stay together.'_

I opened the door to our apartment and walked inside. I walked into the kitchen and opened too fridge. "Hey...uh.."

I realized I didn't know her name.

"Ino. My name's Ino." She smiled and sat down on the couch with Naruto.

I smiled back. "Pretty name, un." I commented. I saw her blush and chuckle.

She looked a bit uncomfortable.

"Hey, Ino-chan, are you hungry? I can make you something and then you can take a shower. Then, we'll get you come clothes, and take you to the doctor, yeah. And on the way there, I have some stuff I need to ask you, okay, un?" I asked.

She nodded. "Okay, Deidara-chan." She replied.

I chuckled. "I'm a guy, silly, un. And no need to be so formal. Just call me Dei, or Aniki or whatever you feel comfortable with, un. I'll call you just Ino. Is that alright, yeah?" I asked.

I didn't want to make my new sister feel uncomfortable or weird. But, she smiled sweetly. "Thanks...nii-san.. And sorry.. I kinda thought that you were a girl..." She blushed.

I chuckled once more. "It's alright, un. Everyone thinks I'm a girl when they first meet me, un."

She laughed along with Naruto.

"So.. Anyone hungry, yeah?" I asked.

Ino stiffened a bit. "No...Not again..." She started to tear up and shake. "I don't wanna again! Please Daddy! Please Daddy, no!!" She screamed out and began kicking, shaking, and her eyes rolled back and she began to convulse.

Naruto screamed and begged for Ino to stop. I ran over to her and tried to keep her down.

She stopped all of a sudden. Panic and fear struck through me and I check her pulse.

She was still breathing, her heart was okay.

She sat up, and I stood back a little.

She smirked. "Well, it looks like the stupid baka finally found a decent guy... Or rather, she found her family finally. Ah, she's going to kill me for coming out though..."

She looked around the room and then back at me.

_'What the fuck?!' _Were my thoughts, so I voiced them.

Naruto looked like he passed out. I wouldn't blame him. Today's been a little too much for a kid of his age.

Ino looked at Naruto and then me. "Hello, Deidara-san." She purred. "I am Ecstasy. I am Ino's alternate personality."

I almost fainted right there, but the slight fear of what she was going to do, kept me from doing it.

"We're going to the doctors, **now**, un. Please grab Naru, yeah." I said. Ino-er.. Ecstasy... got an evil glint in her eyes. I decided right then, that I did not like Ecstasy.

"Never mind... He'll stay here, un." I said. I grabbed a sticky and wrote:

_Taken Ino to doctor._

_Eat something._

_I'll be back soon...Hopefully...._

_Get all your stuff ready for your first day of school tomorrow_

_Be good._

_**Take a shower!!**_

_=P_

_Love you,_

_Dei_

I laid a blanket on Naru and checked the time on the stove. The green numbers read 3:27 p.m.

I idly wondered how long Naru was up last night to have fallen asleep at this time of the day.

"Let's go, un." I said, motioning to the door. Ecstasy smirked and went out the door.

I put the sticky note on Naru's forehead and kissed it. I hoped Otouto didn't freak out that we left him.

I left the apartment unlocked and got inside my black Suburban, along with Ecstasy.

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So how'd you like it? I liked it so far... I thought it was rather neato so far, but I have a never-dying need of knowing how you guys feel about it!!! Oh, and I didn't really proof-read it, so if you see any mistakies, please tell me about them.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

(mwhahaha)

**So, please review, or... **

**Itachi- I shall rape Sasori and Deidara and then use Tsukiyoumi on you. *evil eye glint***

**Sasori and Deidara- O_O *runs away wildly* Nuuuuuu!**


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